Type of medium: Anime
Posting date: 24-01-2006
Author: Zhen-Chan

Review: Fist of the North Star
--Story--
A big explosion caused a lot of problems for earth, causing humans to live under very harsh conditions, where the strong rule over the weak by brute force. But far away from that, our hero kenshiro and his girl walk happily among the ruins of earth, but suddenly, they get cornered by kenshiro's old friend, who betrays him, kidnaps his girl, bitch-slaps Kenshiro a few times, and throws him in a canyon. I kinda hoped this was the end of the story, but sadly, he survived. Of course, Ken's not too happy about what happened, and after a few years, he emerges from the dark and kicks ass. Lots of it.

And that's it for the plot. the summary sums up about...the first 10 minutes of the movie, and the rest's all about mindless violence, including girlish screams, Bruce Lee imitations, and exploding people who get touched. Whoopie. Ken encounters bad guy after bad guy, after bad guy, and they all die by getting touched or punched. It's like Ken picked up some really fucked up STD, where people just explode on contact. I sure as hell don't want that shit he's carrying around. People get ripped apart, heads explode, and blood's everywhere. the plot is used 10 minutes, then dissapeared for 1 hour and 45 minutes, and the last 5 minutes picked up the story.... whatever left of it. Making it 2 hours of screaming in horror from watching this horrid movie. My lungs still hurt.

Aside from the fact that the plot totally dissapeared in the sea of violence, the animation's really bad, and the art style is well.....dated. It's to be expected from a movie from 1986, but this movie was overdoing it, especially when a movie heavily relies on the action scenes. Most of the bad guys get longer screentime from their heads exploding, rather than explaining who they are and what the fuck their problem is. I'm the type who usually remembers most of the important bad guys after a show/movie, but I'm not even able to recall the name of the "friend" who betrayed Kenshiro. I'm not sure what the character designers were smoking/drinking, but the bad guys do not look bad at all. They just look.....stupid. (No Emo Ki-... Kenshiro, not even your "cool" fighting pose can take away their ugliness, let alone yours)

There are actually people who just joygasm when they hear the words "Hokuto no Ken", and mark it as the best anime ever. When I hear those words, I cover my ears, and try to think happy thoughts while shivering in a small corner. I'll probably enjoy getting raped by a bear more, than watch this shit again. They should have called the american adaption of the movie "Fisted your south star" because AFTER THIS MOVIE, YOUR ANUS WILL BLEED RIVERS OF BLOOD. Seriously.
 
Grade: 10 out of 100

You remember the time at school, while doing a test, you get 1 point out of ten for just writing down your name and be there? Same thing here. Stay away from this movie, unless you get sexually aroused from excessive gore, a weak plot, and poor voice acting.

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